A veces la tristeza es tan fuerte que el único consuelo que me queda es saber que cada respiro, es uno menos.

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Little star

I miss my little star.

He was always pretending to be right. He smiled at me even when he was about to cry. I remember looking at him when his dreams became to fade. He was vulnerable and failed to hide it.

He didn’t dream enough for his own expectations, trapped in a nightmare that he knew won’t end any sooner but he tried to live. He tried to believe that he chose what was the best for him. He smiled at me when I gave him a cookie in a bad day, he took it like it was the best moment of his day and then I could have chosen to tell him that everything would get better but I let him have that moment.

He was a little dumb and stubborn, and I was in love with him. In love of the idea of him looking at me in a place when everyone just passes around. He wasn’t for me and I knew it, the need to make him feel special destroyed me a little. Once he laughed and reached me, it was the first time he touched me in a familiar way and it changed the game. He let me have a glimpse of what could have been to be together. He broke my heart without realizing it.

When he lost me I can tell, he lost a part of his temporal happiness along with me. I saw him suffering inside without having an answer for it. Why did he care too much? I can tell, I read it in his face. Sometimes he thought everything was going to be like before, like in our good days and his smile faded in front of me so many times that hurted but anything changed. I was just a relief that he didn’t know he needed, but nothing important. He followed his way without looking at me once before leaving, I thought we meant something even if it wasn’t what I wanted it to be. I won’t recover from it and he didn’t know.

I miss my little star, I miss his smile when everything was bad. I miss to tell him how bright he was… I miss my little star.