Venice

I didn’t need anyone to get to see Paris with these black eyes.

I didn’t need anyone to find a home in Amsterdam.

Why would I need someone to show me Venice?

Silly

For some reason, I cannot understand why I feel good without a reminder of you and feel so bad without your words every day. In your time figuring out things… I got to figure out some of mine. I’m not ready to be with someone right now even if that was I wanted. What I really know is that I like you and I want you in my future, in the time when we are both ready… but how illusory, how silly… I know.

Truth

The worst is that after all, I could give a lot just to be sitting next to you like we were in that night. With the magic, with the hopes on my skin… your green eyes smiling at me, your voice that I cannot recall anymore. What I couldn’t give to see you smile again so near to me.

It hurts.

Conclusion part 1.

After all those things, I have been keeping this bitter sensation about everything that is eating me out. How to explain it, I cannot think of how the magic I was feeling has become this solitude. After all, I feel like any of it has a real meaning. How will I be able to believe him again if the time comes? or even worse, how will I be able to believe in someone else again? What I have in my hands is just a heart that was there, ready to give and what it received were just lies and meaningless words.

I accepted him in the way he presented himself. He didn’t want to have it all and I took it. I said yes, I didn’t think a lot about it because, what I wanted it was to share with him my world, to combine our loneliness to create something beautiful…

In the end, if you just wanted one thing from me, you could have asked, I would have told you to go and let me alone forever and maybe then my grieve would have stopped already. The funny thing about all of this, if you would have waited just a bit, caress me just a bit… you could have got everything from me if you just could have asked because all I wanted it was to give you my heart even if you didn’t ask for it and then… you ran away, how stupid. We could have saved so much time… How many tears, how much pain. If you didn’t want me to give me a chance… why you asked for it, what you fought so long to gain me, to get my “of course, that would be lovely”. Why? You let me alone to crush my own heart in your absence.

I hate this bittersweet feeling about you, how the despair makes me cry without remedy and how much I would have loved to embrace you.

My name

Call me by my name. Remember it every single time you see me in little things. When you remember the plans we have and we never did. Intentions.

Breath me through my name. When you tell more excuses, when you run away again.

If you are going to forget me, let the things out to keep my memory and I could forgive you one day.